Personality and Beliefs

[amydaloid]

Do you, or did you, have any role models?
The German psychologists have made huge strides in treating their patients; I hope to follow in their footsteps.

Do you have any heroes or idols, either contemporary or from legend?
I try not to idolize.  It seems unhealthy to me.

Did you ever become disillusioned with former heroes or idols?
No.

For adventuring / risk-taking personas:

When did you decide to become an adventurer?
I had no choice.  I let one of my patients down -- I couldn't even keep him safe inside the sanitarium.  I have to find his murderer, one way or another.  I'm not sure I'll be able to live with myself any other way.  It's impossible to bring him back to life, of course, but I would like to find a way to lay his spirit to rest.

Why have you chosen to risk your life as a career?
I would do anything for my patients.

What do you expect to get out of being an adventurer (satisfaction, glory, money, redemption, etc.)?
Redemption, I suppose.  Answers, mostly.  And to be at peace with losing this poor man.

What, if anything, would make you stop adventuring (death of a loved one, marriage, mutilation, money, position, old age, etc.)?
Oh, I hardly intend for this to be a regular thing.  As soon as I get my answers I'm headed back to Green Hill and my cozy room in Providence.

Do you have any dreams or ambitions?
My wildest ambition is to be able to cure madness permanently.  But who knows if such a thing is even possible?  All we can do know is hold it at bay and soothe the patient.

What are your short term goals (what would you like to be doing within a year)?
Resolving my deceased patient's case.

What are your long term goals (what would you like to be doing twenty years from now)?
Working tirelessly at Green Hill to make a difference in my patients' lives.  Obviously by that point I'll be through with my residency.  Perhaps I'll even head up the sanitarium if I work hard enough.

If these goals seem at odds with each other or with your dreams, how do you reconcile the differences?
I know that I'm taking a significant risk by leaving this case open, but I have never let down a patient before.  I don't intend to start now.  I will do what I can so that he -- and I -- may be at peace.

How do you seek to fulfill these dreams, goals, & ambitions?
Hard work.  An ordered mind.  Compassion and study.

Do you have any great rational or irrational fears or phobias?
I am normally quite stoic, but I must admit that I am rather frightened by this case.  Despite what those psychoanalysts say, dreams simply do not play a role in normal life.  But who would want to murder a patient at Green Hill?  It all seems too strange to me.  

If so, what are the origins of or reasons behind them?
I am a woman of science and medicine.  I do not have room for strange murders in my life, and yet they insist on barging into my life.  How rude.

What, if anything, would it take for you to be able to overcome this?
There must be a logical explanation for all of this.  I'll find it one way or another.

How do you react when this fear manifests itself?
I confront it.  I acknowledge my feelings, I uncover the root of my fear, I address it, I move on.  One does not study psychology for as long as I have without learning how to remain calm.


Are you willing to discuss, or even admit to, the situation?
Perhaps not with everyone.  Certainly not with a patient; that would be entirely too much personal information.  But I have admitted it to myself, of course.  And I am now in the process of working through this situation.

What are your attitudes regarding material wealth?
Wealth is for hospitals and universities so that they may take care of their patients and fund research, respectively.  I have no need for it personally.


Are you miserly with your share of the wealth, or do you spend it freely?
I run a very tight budget and save up for a "rainy day", as the saying goes.  One never knows when one might be called upon to travel for work.

Are you greedy or generous?
Highly generous with my professional skills and support.

Do you see wealth as a mark of success, or just as a means to an end?
A means to an end.  Anyone who trumpets their wealth does not feel truly successful.
How do you generally treat others?
With patience, compassion, and understanding.  Some might see me as unfriendly, but I prefer the company of my patients to that of my peers.


Do you trust easily (perhaps too easily) or not?
I trust others when I must, but I find it best to rely on myself first and foremost.
 
Are you introverted (shy and withdrawn) or extroverted (outgoing)?
I tend to be introverted, unless I am with a patient.  Then I am rather talkative, I suppose.

Are you a humble soul or blusteringly proud?
Rather proud, I'm afraid.  I find my education and work coming up in conversation with some frequency..


Do you act differently than you feel (concealing your true thoughts)?
Yes, of course.  I strive to remain calm whenever possible.  I am never, however, dishonest with myself.  I hold self-knowledge to be of the greatest importance for one's health.

What habits would you find most annoying in friends?
While I don't have many close friends, I do spend some amount of time with my colleagues.  And I still keep in touch with my closest friend from university, who's now married with children.  In both cases, I find slow responses to my correspondences incredibly frustrating -- I prefer order in all things, when possible.  I also dislike extreme behavior -- one does not need to attend parties every weekend, thank you very much.


Is there any race, creed, alignment, religion, class, profession, political viewpoint, or the like against which you is strongly prejudiced, and why?
I have no tolerance for superstitious people and even less tolerance for those who prey on them.  Magicians, "psychics", snake oil salesmen...they are all less than useless in my view.


How do others typically react to you?   Why, in your opinion, do they act that way? 
Somewhat neutrally, occasionally coldly, but I hardly find this to be a problem.  I am not well-known professionally yet, and I must keep a certain emotional distance from my patients.  Since I am not outwardly emotional myself, I do not expect to inspire strong emotions in others.  I do, however, hope to build relationships based on trust, rapport, and confidence with my patients.  I often succeed on this point.


What are your most annoying habits?
I feel the need to stay organized at all times.  This can be quite time-consuming when traveling, and it takes an extended period of time to set up a new office or apartment to my liking.

What is your favourite food? What is your favourite drink?
My favorite food is a thick seafood chowder, although that is only an occasionally indulgence for me.  I am quite happy most nights with Mrs. Adcock's chicken soup, some pickles, a roll, and a glass of cold milk.  Before bed every night I indulge in a cup of tea.  


What is your favourite treat (dessert)?
I do have a soft spot for a nice slice of angel cake with strawberries.


Do you favour a particular cuisine?
I have a soft spot for food that reminds me of home -- New Englanders can cook seafood like no one else.


Do you savor the tastes when eating or "wolf down" your food?
Savoring one's food is not only more polite, it is healthier.

Do you like food mild or heavily spiced?
Mild spices, of course.  Temperance!


Are there any specific foodstuffs that you find disgusting or refuse to eat?
No.  I am a very open-minded woman; there's no reason to focus so much mental energy on food when I have more important things to take care of.


Are you allergic to any food?
No.


What are your favourite colour(s)?
Navy blue and burgundy.

Is there any colour that you dislike?
Sickly yellows.

Do you have a favourite (or hated) song, type of music, or instrument?
No, although I prefer not to listen to popular music; it's rather too erratic and energetic for me.

What is your favourite bard song?
I don't know much about popular music, I'm afraid; I prefer a beautifully sung Mozart opera.

If you have a favourite scent, what is it?
Roses.


What is your favourite type of animal?
Cats.

Why do you have an affinity for that creature?
They make for excellent study companions -- we have one in the sanitarium to keep the patients' spirits up, and she often joins me in my office when I'm working late at night.


Do you have an animal totem or affinity, and if so for what?
No, I'm afraid I'm not much for spirituality.

Is there a certain type of animal that you hate or fear?
Horses.  Dangerous creatures.


Are you allergic to any kinds of animals?
Bees, I'm afraid.

Do you have any allergies?
None other than bees.


Is there anything that enrages you?
Two things.  One is mistreatment of patients by their doctors and nurses -- this is the modern era, and we are here to help our patients, not lock them away like unruly animals!  The other is people who try to take advantage of the superstitious.  But I believe that I've discussed that point enough already.


Is there anything which embarrasses you?
No.  I never do anything embarrassing.


How do you react to being teased about it?
I take no offense, although I do judge the, uh,  teaser as rather rude.


Do you enjoy "roughing it", or do you prefer your creature comforts?
I hardly need luxury, but I need electrical lighting and indoor plumbing whenever possible.  A comfortable place to sleep is also appreciated.


Do you believe in god(s) or not?
I was raised in a God-fearing family, but the longer I've been away from home the more uncertain I am about His existence.

Do you have a patron Deity?
No.

Are you devout or impious?
Neither.  I lead a sin-free life, but I don't make any great effort to attend church.  I go to chapel with my patients when I am working at the sanitarium on Sunday mornings.


Do you actively worship and proselytize or do you simply pay lip service?
Pay lip service, I suppose.


What lengths would you go to defend your faith?
Not very far; I don't consider myself to truly be a woman of faith.


Was your faith influenced or molded by anyone special?
Church was very important to my mother.


Do you belong to the orthodox church, or a fringe element thereof (and is the group accepted, frowned upon, or considered heretics)?
No.

Is your church an accepted religion where you grew up or did it have to conduct its services in secret?
I had a typical Protestant upbringing.


How did this affect your faith and life? Have you ever been persecuted for your faith? If so, when and How did you handle it?
I've never been persecuted for my faith.  It's quite common where I'm from.

Can you kill?
Not a person, no.  I've taken the Hippocratic Oath.  Perhaps an animal, but I'd prefer not to, unless it was a bee.

When did you decide (or learn) that you could?   What happened and how did you handle it?
I haven't yet.  Hopefully I'll never have to.

When do you consider it okay to kill (under what circumstances)?
I never consider it okay to kill another person.  


When do you consider it wrong to kill (under what circumstances)?
It is always wrong for a doctor to kill another person.


What would you do if someone else attempted to (or successfully did) kill under the wrong circumstances, what would be your reaction?
I would try to do everything in my power to heal them before turning their killer over to the authorities.

What if it were your enemy?
I try not to make enemies.  Regardless, I would do my best to heal them.


What if it were your friend?
Neither friend nor foe gets special treatment from a well-trained doctor; I treat everyone to the best of my ability.


What if it were an innocent?
This would be the most tragic of all, but I would, I'm sure, be able to calm both myself and my patient down in the hopes of healing them.


What if the opponent were not in control of their own actions (i.e.-under duress, charmed, dominated, possessed, etc.)?
Then the man responsible would be turned over to the proper authorities.

What would you do if someone shot at (attacked) you?
Take cover and avoid their attacks until I could alert the police.

What would you do if something were stolen from you?
Report it to the police.  If it were a medical file then I would also report it to my supervisors at the sanitarium.


What would you do if you were badly insulted publicly?
If it were a professional claim, then I would refute it then and there.  I can't have my professional reputation ruined by rumor-mongers.  Otherwise I don't really think it would be worth my time.  I'd remove myself from the situation.


What would you do if a good friend or relative were killed by means other than natural death?
I would work closely with the police detectives to figure out what could be done.  Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to involve the police on this particular case...they ruled it a suicide and refused to investigate further.  I must proceed on my own from hereon out.

What is the one task you would absolutely refuse to do?
Harm another human being, physically or mentally, who was under my care.

What do you consider to be the worst crime someone could commit and why?
The harming or taking advantage of innocents is horrific to me, especially when it is done by those in charge of them -- they have no way to defend themselves!

How do you feel about government (rulers) in general?
They keep everything running smoothly.

Why do you feel that way?
I have yet to see anything to the contrary.  They are even far-sighted enough to ban alcohol so that we may all live more balanced lives!

Do you support the current government of your homeland?
Yes.

If so, how far are you willing to go to defend the government?
As far as any good American citizen -- I vote, I follow laws, I am proud of my country.

Do you belong to an anti-government organization?
Certainly not!

What form of government do you believe is the best (democracy, monarchy, anarchy, aristocratic rule, oligarchy, matriarchy) and why?
Democracy.  It has worked out wonderfully for us so far.  It enables us to elect wise men to help set laws that benefit everyone.


Have you ever been persecuted for your political stance?
No.

Are you a member of any non-religious group, cause, order, or organization?
Well, I am a doctor of psychology, but that isn't any particular order or fraternity.

If so describe it, its goals, and membership.
We heal those with illnesses of the brain as best we can through careful study, balanced diet and exercise, compassionate observation, and, of course, the best medical technology available.


How loyal are you to this group and why?
Very loyal.  The vows we take encompass all it means to be a doctor.


How did you become a member?
I studied psychology at university before earning my doctorate and beginning my residency at Green Hill Sanatorium.


If you are a former member, did you leave voluntarily or involuntarily and why?   Was it under good (amicable) conditions or bad? 
I am not a former member.

Are you being sought or hunted by the organization?
No.

Do you have any unusual habits or dominant personality traits that are evident to others?   If so, describe them and how you acquired them, as well as when they might be more noticeable and what causes them?
I can seem rather impersonal to many people, but it's all part of the job.  I also have a great need for order; I grew up in a very chaotic household, a fact which was surely detrimental to my development of important life skills.

How do you react if made fun of for any of these things?
It doesn't bother me.


Do you have any unusual or nervous mannerisms, such as when talking, thinking, afraid, under stress, or when embarrassed?   If so, are there any reasons behind them from your past?
I take copious notes when talking to a patient, and so I am never without a notebook and pen.  When nothing else is going on I go over my notes to spot new patterns and information that I might have missed in the past.  When I get involved in my studies I become quite difficult to talk to.  When someone does finally get my attention I tend to jump; they usually take me quite by surprise.  I am very much an active listener -- I like to fix my whole attention on the person I'm talking to with firm eye contact and an occasional nod, murmur, or question.  I also tend to work rather obsessively when I am under great stress, thinking out loud and sometimes even, alas, chewing on my pens.  I find that solving problems always decreases my stress levels.


Do you have an unusual gait or accent?  If so, where did you acquire them?   Are there any circumstances where they become more (or less) evident?
No, I do not.


How do you feel and react if made fun of for any of these things?
I don't waste my time being embarrassed; I lift an eyebrow as if to ask, "Is this really where you choose to spend your energy?" before moving on.


What place would you most like to visit?
The University Clinic at the University of Heidelburg; Kraepelin's advancements in patient care there are legendary.

What annoys you the most?
Disorganization, first and foremost.

What (if any) are your favourite forms of art?
I enjoy operas and the occasional mystery novel.  The Christie woman is my favorite.

What is your most treasured possession?
I have a small trinket box carved by my brother on my nightstand.  He gave it to me for my 8th birthday, right before the accident.  It will always be precious to me.


What things could you not live without?
My books, notebooks, and pens.  I could do without many things, but I cannot live without my studies.

Do you have a good luck charm?
No, luck is a very silly concept for superstitious people.

If your life were to end in 24 hours, what 5 things would you do in those remaining hours?
Visit my brother at his sanatorium.
Arrange legible notes for whomever will be taking care of my patients next.
Visit Mother's grave.
Join Father for dinner.
Write a letter to my dear friend Rebecca.


Do you have a "Black-and-White" view of reality or can you see shades of grey?
I see things as fairly black-and-white: healthy, ill; improvements, regressions; moderate, indulgent; appropriate, inappropriate.

Do you prefer to tear down or build up?
To build up.  My entire career is based on building people back up again after they've broken.

Are you deliberate or spontaneous?
Very deliberate.

Do you prefer the town or the country?
The town.   There're more scientific minds there and more opportunities to study.

If made to decide, would you rather be deaf or blind? Why?
Blind, I suppose.  It would be difficult to communicate with my patients if I were deaf.

How do you feel about magic, myth, and the supernatural?
No such thing.  To believe in them is to ignore reason.

Do you remember your dreams?
Yes, but they are just dreams.  Nothing else.

Describe a typical dream you might have.
Usually I am performing my normal duties at the sanatorium, but through that strange, surreal dream lens.  My patients don't look the same, but I always recognize them for who they are.  Sometimes I am a patient trying to convince everyone that I am a psychologist; I find those dreams a bit unsettling.

Describe your worst nightmares.
Watching my brother's accident over and over again.  Seeing a strange shadow figure descending on my latest patient, chanting in an unearthly language as it suffocates him.  They scream horribly, both of them.